maths study via The Open University

Back

After about a month with my head stuck goodness knows where, I think I’m back.
The personal stuff escalated and escalated – and culminated in a death in my close family which knocked me for a good deal more than six.
I’m honestly not sure where I’ve been for the last few weeks – physically here but mentally, philosophically and spiritually, who knows?
I do know that I spent days sitting on a chair, endlessly pushing the rewind and replay buttons of recent events in my mind, playing out various permutations and applying differing reasoning to what’s gone on.
It’s one thing to lose a dear soul and know why, but quite another when medical science raises its hands into the air and declares it doesn’t know what happened, why, or how.
For once, with death, I wasn’t angry. It played a strong hand and there was no way to get a glimpse of even its least useful card.
I’m not sure how the mourning process is supposed to work, but it got worse day-by-day instead of better. Until, finally, while in that state between asleep and conscious, my mind happened upon a plausible reason.
More than plausible, in fact. Highly probable.
And that, somehow, reduced the grief, though not the pain.

Anyway, I’m back. I reopened my M343 books yesterday and got going – five weeks behind, with just three days to go to the final CMA cut-off date.

Rather oddly, it seemed sooooooooo easy. Maybe, for the first time, I’m seeing maths as the tool it is, rather than something to be nervous of. It’s just a set of derived rules. Mine to manipulate how I wish.

Two weeks’-worth done yesterday. Two weeks’-worth to be done today. Then a week’s-worth tomorrow.

M347 is beyond redemption at this point. Far too little time spent since April on it. I will withdraw from it on Thursday.

I’ve also decided to knock the idea of multiple courses and huge time commitments on the head. In October this year, I’ll be taking just one topic – complex analysis (M337).

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4 responses

  1. Chris Finlay

    I’m really sorry for all the grief you’ve gone through. I hope time will prove some form of healing. I think you are wise also to just do M337 on its own next year. It will give you the time to do the course thoroughly and there is some really deep stuff there, as prep you could revise the epsilon delta definition of continuity from M208. Good luck with M343 and glad to see you back mate

    Best wishes Chris

    August 14, 2012 at 10:35 PM

  2. ajl

    With M347 being 100% exam, would it make any sense to defer until June 2013?
    Presumably, you must be very close to having completed the required number of TMA’s and iCMA’s already?
    If you could agree something along those lines with the OU now, you could put M347 on hold until M343 is over and done with in October?
    You obviously have good grounds for doing so.
    It does seem such a shame to have to drop a module this far in, especially when you so obviously know what you are doing?
    Anyway, otherwise good luck with the rest of M343.
    I’ll see you again on M337 for sure (and M347 if you manage to find a way of sticking with it), both of which I’m doing myself from October.

    August 15, 2012 at 10:14 AM

  3. Tiernan

    I’m sorry to hear of your sad loss. Your blog is a real inspiration and help as I struggle through the second level courses and I appreciate you’re continuing to blog even though it must be difficult to do so. I look forward to your thoughts on M337 as I’ll also be on that course next year.

    All the best

    Tiernan

    August 15, 2012 at 6:26 PM

  4. Thanks for your thoughts, folks.
    I’ve made a firm decision to drop M347. I shall finish off the course units to gain the knowledge but won’t do so sufficiently well to want it to appear on my transcript.
    Hence, it will be like an extra course done but not credited.
    Tiernan, I hope you’re finding the second level courses ok. There’s not a huge jump up to level three from what I’ve seen, though some level threes are tough – topology and MST326 come to mind.

    August 15, 2012 at 7:15 PM

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